Family can be one of the biggest challenge we can face in this life. Unlike an episode of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ which only lasts for forty minutes, it is something we deal with our whole lives, and at times it will be more like a soap opera than it is a sitcom.
However, all great superheroes have family turmoil to deal with and in most times their struggles with family was the very thing that made them great. Batman, Spiderman, and Superman were all orphans, and were raised by foster parents one way or the other.
The Prophet Muhammad S.A.W himself, was an orphan and had all sorts of family struggle to deal with, throughout his life.
We can feel that our parents, children, siblings, and spouse are causing a lot of stress in our life but know that the situation is not as bad as we think they are.
On days we feel that our family struggles are too much, we must look at the great people in order to understand that families are as much a blessing as they are a test to us.
Here are 4 Quranic scenarios that will put our own family struggles into perspective.
1. Asiya bint Muzahim and her husband Firaun
Asiya (may Allah be Pleased with her) is considered to be one of the most pious woman in Islam. She made it to the Muslim top 4 list of amazing women in human existence.
You would expect a woman receiving such an honor, would be married to a Prophet. However, it turns out that she is married to Fir’aun (Pharoah) who is considered to be the enemy of God. Not even Syaitan (the devil) was given this title!
You would rather be married to Darth Vader than to this cruel man.
Asiya was known for her gentleness and kindness to her people, and Firaun was known to be the exact opposite……
Firaun tortured Asiya to death after she said she was not going to worship him as a God, and declared he was only a creation of Allah. How bad is this scene? Imagine Vader force choking Padme and times that, by a hundred. That is as graphic as I’m willing to disclose in this article.
Yikes, talk about disagreement with your spouse right.
So, when you have issues where you disagree with your partner, know that unless he/she is Vader or Firaun, you can probably work things out.
2. Ibrahim and his father
Have you guys ever felt like your parents are just impossible to deal with? I get those days a lot. I mean, a lot. But how should we deal with our parents when times are tough with them?
As the famous hadith goes, the person who deserves the best of treatment, is our mother. The Prophet was asked three times, who deserved the best of our treatment and all three times he said your mother, and the fourth he mentioned, your father (Source: Bukhari, Vol. 8 Book 73).
Ibrahim A.S (upon him be peace) had issues with his father. His own father rejected his message and continued to worship idols. The friend of God, is the title given to Ibrahim and his own father rejected him. But it did not stop him from loving and being kind to his father even though his father rejected his message.
I know too many times that we as children have on occasion, disrespected and pushed our parents away because they are struggling to understand the world we are living in. It is completely alien to them, of course they have a hard time in understanding. We need to remember that it is understandable for them to struggle to understand. So much has changed the past 25 years alone!
We need to be merciful to them for they were merciful to us when we were once helpless and defenseless.
Ibrahim A.S understand that his father was merciful towards him at a time he was helpless and that was the only reason why got as far as he did.
3. Ya’qub, and his sons
The closest to being a parent I ever came close to is through baby-sitting my nephews. I can only imagine how difficult it must be when you are solely responsible for how your children turn out and the pressure in doing so.
Although I can’t speak through my own experience on how we should treat our children but we can take lessons from Ya’qub A.S, the father of Yusuf, to avoid raising a Loki who ends up terrorizing Midgard, and the Avengers (That’s a reference to Avengers by the way, if you’re not an Avengers fan, you should go watch it now!).
If you ever feel like your child is too overwhelming for you, remember that Ya’qub had sons who tried to kill this one son, who would end up becoming a Prophet. Although he knew it was them who plotted against Yusuf, he still considered the rights of his children to his approach, in dealing with the situation. He approached the situation with intelligence and patience. He did not disown or disrespect any of them.
We need to remember that our children have rights over us, just as we have rights over them. Let us raise more Peter Parkers (who becomes Spirderman) in this word and avoid raising Loki’s like a plague.
4. Nuh and his son
You guys ever felt like your family is just not supportive in anything that you want to do? Ever felt like giving up on your dreams, and aspirations, because you have been trying for the longest time to make them understand why something is important to you?
If you ever felt that way than you should remind yourself of Prophet Nuh, who spent 950 years spreading the message of God, day and night to his people, publicly and privately.
He ended up with only some 80 odd people following him. His own son was not even on that list. Talk about a non-supportive environment. He did not give up and was relentless in his effort for 950 years.
So, if you ever feel like giving up in your dream job, marrying the person you love, and etc because your family is not supportive and just do not understand. You should ask yourself. Have I worked day and night relentlessly to make them understand? Has it been 950 years? If it’s been barely one month, I say we have a lot more time to keep working before losing our patience.
What do you guys think? Can you relate to any of the great figures of Islam above? Share with me your thoughts on the comment box below.