4 Funny-Awkward Conversations I’ve Had with Non-Muslims

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As people, we generally tend to forget that what is obvious to us, is not obvious to others due to cultural upbringing and the things we are exposed to.

So, as Muslims there are a lot of things that we often tend to think that should be obvious to others but apparently they are not. Crazy right? How can the world not know these things?

Therefore, I find some of these conversations below that took place with some Non- Muslims to be quite funny.


1. Is that Halal?

One fine day at a cafeteria with my friend Yahya.


(looking at a delicious meat, and drooling over it) Bro, do you think that’s halal?


Let me check. (Yahya looks at cafeteria lady)

Excuse me, is that halal?

Cafeteria Lady: Let me ask the kitchen.

(yells to the kitchen)

Excuse me love is the pork halal?


So, Muslims do not eat pork. That’s right, it’s a lifestyle choice. Just how like Vegans don’t have meat and dairy products in their dietary habits. People have said to me “You are missing out on so much”

Well I don’t eat that one meat, I am not cutting out every meat in the world.

Some people do not eat Durians, for example, for whatever reason (bad taste bud*cough*).

Do they not eat other fruits? I’m sure they do and they do not think they are missing out on much either and that is alright. Even if they are completely wrong

We all eat different things. 


2. Awkward With An Atheist:

A casual conversation between myself and an Atheist under a tree, a long time ago.


You people are blind followers who do not use your brains, by following a book that is so outdated. You people don’t even do research on anything and you reject science!


Yeah, the Quran has been around for some time. You have a book to recommend me to address your problems with Religion?


Try this book, The Delusional Believers. But be careful, it might make an Atheist out of you. The book is so logical, the author is a genius and his arguments are flawless.


Cool, can I borrow your copy?


I don’t have one.


Oh okay, where did you read yours?


Oh, I haven’t read it.

Me: Ermmmmmm. Cool story, bro.

(Awkwardly looks around as not sure how to respond to this ’genius’)

For the record, I actually do believe in Science. Muslims actually have a whole history of scientific discoveries during their Golden Age. I love science that’s discovered by anybody in fact.

The recent Hoverboard release by Lexus is one of my favorite scientific discovery at the moment.  I am still however sad that it may probably not end up being sold in a shop near us any time soon but I take joy in the little things in life.


Funny Conversations


3. Talk On Terrorism


Dude, tell me about ISIS


Sure thing, right after you tell me about the Spanish Inquisition, KKK, the European Dark Ages, Rohingya genocide, slavery in America, and I have a few more on my list if you have the time.




That’s what I thought.

I am as much in the dark as any of you guys about ISIS. Yes, to some people’s surprise I do learn good values in the mosques and lectures I have attended within my religious space.

Just because a certain group from a specific faith/race/nation has done something bad not everybody that belongs to that group was responsible for the crimes of those who committed the crimes.


4. Are you a modern Muslim?


Are you a modern Muslim?


What does that mean?


You don’t pray 5 times a day, and you don’t mind drinking and stuff.


Well actually I do make an effort to pray and I do not drink alcohol.


Oh. *runs in horror*

Yes, I make an effort to pray 5 times a day. It’s the same as meditating in your daily lives.

Not drinking alcohol, is a lifestyle choice just like not eating pork.

The scripture prescribes some prescriptions as a tea health benefits and it is totally up to us whether or not we want to implement them in our lives.

Being traditional does not mean we are against modernism, or moving forward. We keep the good and throw out the bad.


What do you guys think? Have any of you ever ran into similar situations? Share your thoughts in the comment box.


Disclaimer: The dialogues above were inspired by real conversations but was meant to be for fun therefore were slightly adjusted. It is not meant to offend anyone, but rather to see the humor of it from some people’s perspective*


Featured Image Source: Buzzfeed


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