How to Cut an Onion When You Suck at Cooking & Other Humorous Culinary Advice

or How to Realise that You Don't have to be perfect to approach cooking.

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You Suck At Cooking is a wonderfully witty and sarcastic video series that offers seriously funny advice, not to be taken seriously. You’ll get really humorous advice on tasks you usually think are a chore in the kitchen, such as chopping onions, making tuna salad and mixing up a quick bean dip.

The series premiered in early January 2015 with a recipe for an easy guacamole, “4 ingredients plus salt and pepper = the most delicious guac you’ve ever tasted”, and the producers really love spring onion.

Here’s the thing, they make cooking seem not scary for those of us who actually do suck at cooking. Enjoy. All shot using an iPhone, now everyone has no excuses not to have their own series.

Besides the funny videos, there are actually real recipes which you can follow, but they come with a warning- take it with a pinch of salt, and yes that pun was used on purpose.


Maple-baked Salmon

On marinating the salmon: “Now don’t worry. It’s used to being inside a lot of liquid. This is going to be really good for him.”



Break-up Pasta

On cooking the pasta: “You only need to do one thing, just follow the instructions. The engineers at the pasta factory tested it two or three times to find the perfect boiling time so you know, try to have a little respect.”




Cheese and Crackers

Upon realising that he doesn’t have an essential ingredient: “Ah that’s not pepper. It’s nutmeg. Okay I’m not good at ingredients, you use pepper please.” Yes, this is normal and relatable to any noob cook out there.



Pan-fried Kale

“There’s a lot of variation on this recipe with a lot of different ingredients, but one ingredient I refuse to use is poison. It’s really tart and hard on my digestive system.”





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