Learning to Say No

No is also an option

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“Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.”- Claudia Black

Have you ever felt so guilty to decline a lunch or a dinner invitation? Or even saying no to the salesperson who’s persistently giving out the pamphlets?


Well, apparently the difficulty to say NO is a part of the human psyche. We tend to feel bad and perceive ourselves as mean when we reject an offer.

“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.”- Lori Deschene

Despite how bad we may feel when we say NO, it’s more dangerous to keep saying yes when we don’t want to. The inability to decline anything could limit ourselves from expressing our true needs and emotional state which could then lead to feeling dissatisfied.


Sure, to say no can be very difficult. But we can practice them every day, in our head or in front of the mirror. We’ll slowly gain the confidence to speak up about our needs and opinions without feeling burdened or guilty.

Check out these 3 ways to say NO!

  1. Use other words instead of just NO

According to the author and work-life balance speaker, Suzanne Brown, we can try saying something like “I can’t take this right now” or “I don’t have time in my schedule right now”. You could also say that you can help with certain things instead of the whole thing.


  1. Begin a response by saying thank you

Well since rejections sound like bad news, we should start the conversation by offering gratitude. That way, it will ease the whole situation.


  1. Try buying some time

Sometimes we tend to feel burdened to answer immediately. According to an author and a psychotherapist, Julie Bjelland, the best option is to ask for extra time to think about it. By doing so, we could actually take time to think and see if we can reschedule stuff or anything.


Besides these three options, we could also try something called “courage-inducing intro”, a tip suggested by a psychologist named Sidney Cohen. These intros are actually just a couple words or a phrase that a person can practice saying before they come out and say ‘no.’”. One easy example is by saying “I’m genuinely sorry, but this time…”.


Sometimes we need to stop saying YES just to be “nice”. Watch this video by Colin Boyd, A High-Performance Leadership Expert.

Video from: Colin Boyd



Content from: Psychology Today

By Mirarhyme


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